Failure is only feedback

Most of us grow up in a culture where failure is viewed as bad. If you fail at something it is considered a bad thing, something you should be ashamed about. And in the workplace you can feel like an outcast. We ourselves at times may have ridiculed other people for what we perceive to be their failures.
Ask yourself a question .What is failure and is there a message there for us?
Failure is purely feedback. it is life’s way of telling us that we need to change our approach. We need to do something different, to get the result we are looking for. You may ask yourself does history support this? Let’s look at some famous failures,

• Coke - nearly went broke only selling 400 bottles in their first year.

• Dr Seuss – 23 rejection before he sold his 1st book

• Walt Disney - went broke 14 times

• Thomas Edison – 999 failures before he invented the light globe

• Sylvester Stallone – Over 5000 rejection for his move Rocky

All of the above examples would have been considered as failures. Just for one moment imagine what the people around them were saying. Yes, it would not have been complimentary.

This one thing that each of the above people or organisation had in common is the fact they treated failure purely as feedback and changed their approach to what they were doing.

This is the key to creating the change you want in your life, is by starting to see failure as nothing more than feedback and to implement the lessons it is trying to present to you. If you focus on what went wrong, you will never create the change in your life that you want. By standing back and asking yourself, what changes do I need to make to get the outcomes that I want that will move you forward, in ways that you could not now imagine?

Have a fantastic Day

Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director


Ak Coaching & Development - Create the Change
http://www.createthechange.com.au/
E-mail info@createthechange.com.au

How to Build rapport Part 2

How wonderful would it be to connect will everyone you meet. By knowing the basic rules of how to build rapport this can be achieved. Every relationship we establish is built on our ability to build rapport with the other person. Today we will look at how to build rapport with language.

There are four information processing styles called Representational Systems or Modalities and we use all four in processing. The four representational systems are,

Auditory
Kinaesthetic
Auditory Digital
Visual

What is so important about understanding the four Representational Systems?
Each Representational system have a number of words call Predicates and the makes it a language all on its own. Have you ever seen a situation where to people are speaking and they are not conveying their message across to the other person. Whilst they are both speaking English it seems that they are speaking a different language. The reality is that they are speaking a different language. How is this possible you ask?

Our Representational Systems are like different languages. E.g. if you are an Auditory person and you are speaking to a Kinaesthetic person, if you use Auditory word and the Kinaesthetic person uses Kinaesthetic words it will be difficult for each person to process the information.

How to build rapport with Language?

To build rapport with language is very simple you match and mirror the Predicates of each Representational Systems. This is one of the most powerful tools in build rapport. This will improve your communication in ways you never imaged.

If you would like to learn how to really connect will people please contact me at alex@createthechange.com.au for a free eBook on this topic.

Have a fantastic day

Alex Kalafatis
Company Director

Ak Coaching & Development

How to Build rapport Part 1

One of the most important things in life is to communicate and build rapport with people. If you can not build rapport with people you can not establish meaningful and lasting friendship. You are probably thinking well everyone knows this. It is true most people know this however you see people making Basic mistakes because they have not learned the rule of how to build deep rapport.

I will ask a question and be honest with yourself did you really answer. There are three ways to build rapport or communicate with people they are he Words we use, Tonality and Physiology or Body language. What is the percentage of the total communication does the words we use, the Tonality and Physiology each represent?

Words 7%

Tonality 40%

Physiology 53%

If you are seeing these for the first time you may be surprised, I was. Have you ever experianced a sitution where someone has said something to you and you felt that the communication had no intgrity to it. The reason for this is whilst the words said one thing the tonaily and Physiology where saying something total different.

In our next blog we will discover how to build rapport with the words we use. You will be surprised at how easy it is to effectively build rapport just by the words you use.

Have a fantastic day.

Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director


AK Coaching & Development - Create the Change
www.createthechange.com.au

The Six bacis Core Human Needs

People often ask me why do people do the things that they do or why do I react in the way I do. This is the question that got me onto the path of Personal Development. The answer whilst easy remains a mystery to most people. I guess you are wondering what is the answer?

All human behaviour is trying to meet our Six Basic Core Human Needs. Weather it be positive behavior or negative behavior we are trying to meet these six needs. What are they you ask? Well here they are;

1. Certainty
2. Variety
3. Significance
4. Connection
5. Growth
6. Contribution

Once you understand the six basic core human needs and you recognise how you are you are meeting these need, you can change you behaviour easily. Most people meet the first four basic human needs Certainty, Variety Significance and connection as these can be meet in a positive or negative way.

The best example of meet the four needs in a negative way is an example Tony Robbins used at an event I attended. He said, "Why is crime in humanity today? It is because you can satisfy four of the basis human need at the one time. If I held a gun to your head i would have, Certainty - I am in control of this situation right now, Variety - we have a situation here were anything could happen, Significance - I am the most important person in your life right now and connection - We have rapport right now you will do anything I ask you to do. Can you see how these basic human needs can be satisfied in a very negative way?

The question is how do we know it we are meet our six basic human needs in a positive way. When we are meeting the needs of contribution and growth can we truly say that we are meeting our six basic core human needs in a positive way. When trying to meet your six basic human need in a positive way ask yourself the question, am I bringing growth and contribution to the table with this behaviour? If the answer is yes you are meeting your needs in a positive way. If the answer is no, what do you need to change in your behavior to meet your needs in a positive way?

Have a fantastic Day

Alex Kalafatis

Managing Director

AK Coaching & Development

www.createthechange.com.au

Balance postives into Negatives

Have you every wondered why some people get over negatives events quicker than other's. I always have. The same event can happen to two different people and one person just bounces back while the other person seems to suffer for long periods of time. It can be a relationship break up, a lose of some sort or unable to achieve a goal etc. Do you what to know the secret into bouncing back from set backs or negative events?

The people that seem to just get on with life have the following belief

"Failure is only feedback"

When you have a perceived failure instead of focusing on the event, treat it a learning opportunity. In every negative event there are a number of positive learning that can change your life and drive you forward. Remember once an event has occurred you can not change it you life is effected by the meaning you give it. If you focus on the learning of the event this will ensure that the past does not equal the future and you will not repeat the mistakes of the past, how good would that be?

Just look back at some of the negatives events in your life and have a look at the learning from them now. You will be surprise at what you can learn life lessons that can only be learned from failure. Have you heard sport people make the comment, "we learned more from that lose than all our previous wins." Life is the same, every time you have a negative event in your life or a failure rejoice as life is providing you with a valuable lesson.

Have a fantastic Day

Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director


Ak Coaching & Development - Create the Change
http://www.createthechange.com.au/

Creating a one page flyer that sells

Every wondered why some one page flyers get peoples attention and other do not. Do you realise there are specific rules in creating a one page flyer. Many people have wasted time and money in developing marketing material without knowing how to influence human behaviour. Most people leave it to chance. The following is one way to create a one page flyer that will attract clients into your business.

1. At the top of the page have a compelling question that will attract your niche

2. List 6 items that are a problems to your niche

3. Relating back to the problems, list the benefits your service or product will provide

4. List 6 points in regards to what it will cost your niche if they do not fix the problem

5. Include 3 reasons about why they should use you

6 Have a call to action on the flyer

7. Company logo's at the bottom

By applying the above you will notice people reading your one page flyer

Successfully negotiating the teenage years

Most parents face the problem of those difficult years with there children , "The teenage years". Maybe you are already there, are your teenagers mixing with the wrong crowd, experimenting with drugs and alcohol, withdrawing from the family. The relationships starts to go down hill and the more the parent's try to control the situation the worst it gets. Does this seem familiar to you?

Do you feel like you have no where to turn? As a parent do you feel like you are losing your child? Are there times when you feel helpless and do not know were to turn?

If you said yes to any of the above questions lets me share with you, how I have assisted a number of clients to reconnect with there teenage children.

Most parents focus on there children's behaviour and try to control the behaviour, this is the first mistake. Others punish their teenage children and this has little or no effect. Others name call or tag their children with terms such as, bad, wrong ,blaming their children and others for the bad behaviour. Does this sound familiar?

Here are some helpful tips that will assist you and in most cases ,the result are immediately measurable.

1. Work on improving the relationship with you children. Make this the main focus.

2. When talking to your teenage children distinguish between the behaviour and the children. Tell them you love them and it is their behaviour you do not like.

3. Never tell them they are wrong, you do not like their choices, however you will always be there for them.

4. Never make comments in the heat of the moment that you could regret later.

If you apply these simple rules the results will be outstanding

Have a fantastic day

Alex Kalafatis

Managing Director

Australian Innovative Coaching & Development

E-mail alex@createthechange.com.au