How wonderful would it be to connect will everyone you meet. By knowing the basic rules of how to build rapport this can be achieved. Every relationship we establish is built on our ability to build rapport with the other person. Today we will look at how to build rapport with language.
There are four information processing styles called Representational Systems or Modalities and we use all four in processing. The four representational systems are,
Auditory
Kinaesthetic
Auditory Digital
Visual
What is so important about understanding the four Representational Systems?
Each Representational system have a number of words call Predicates and the makes it a language all on its own. Have you ever seen a situation where to people are speaking and they are not conveying their message across to the other person. Whilst they are both speaking English it seems that they are speaking a different language. The reality is that they are speaking a different language. How is this possible you ask?
Our Representational Systems are like different languages. E.g. if you are an Auditory person and you are speaking to a Kinaesthetic person, if you use Auditory word and the Kinaesthetic person uses Kinaesthetic words it will be difficult for each person to process the information.
How to build rapport with Language?
To build rapport with language is very simple you match and mirror the Predicates of each Representational Systems. This is one of the most powerful tools in build rapport. This will improve your communication in ways you never imaged.
If you would like to learn how to really connect will people please contact me at alex@createthechange.com.au for a free eBook on this topic.
Have a fantastic day
Alex Kalafatis
Company Director
Ak Coaching & Development
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
How to Build rapport Part 1
One of the most important things in life is to communicate and build rapport with people. If you can not build rapport with people you can not establish meaningful and lasting friendship. You are probably thinking well everyone knows this. It is true most people know this however you see people making Basic mistakes because they have not learned the rule of how to build deep rapport.
I will ask a question and be honest with yourself did you really answer. There are three ways to build rapport or communicate with people they are he Words we use, Tonality and Physiology or Body language. What is the percentage of the total communication does the words we use, the Tonality and Physiology each represent?
Words 7%
Tonality 40%
Physiology 53%
If you are seeing these for the first time you may be surprised, I was. Have you ever experianced a sitution where someone has said something to you and you felt that the communication had no intgrity to it. The reason for this is whilst the words said one thing the tonaily and Physiology where saying something total different.
In our next blog we will discover how to build rapport with the words we use. You will be surprised at how easy it is to effectively build rapport just by the words you use.
Have a fantastic day.
Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director
AK Coaching & Development - Create the Change
www.createthechange.com.au
I will ask a question and be honest with yourself did you really answer. There are three ways to build rapport or communicate with people they are he Words we use, Tonality and Physiology or Body language. What is the percentage of the total communication does the words we use, the Tonality and Physiology each represent?
Words 7%
Tonality 40%
Physiology 53%
If you are seeing these for the first time you may be surprised, I was. Have you ever experianced a sitution where someone has said something to you and you felt that the communication had no intgrity to it. The reason for this is whilst the words said one thing the tonaily and Physiology where saying something total different.
In our next blog we will discover how to build rapport with the words we use. You will be surprised at how easy it is to effectively build rapport just by the words you use.
Have a fantastic day.
Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director
AK Coaching & Development - Create the Change
www.createthechange.com.au
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Six bacis Core Human Needs
People often ask me why do people do the things that they do or why do I react in the way I do. This is the question that got me onto the path of Personal Development. The answer whilst easy remains a mystery to most people. I guess you are wondering what is the answer?
All human behaviour is trying to meet our Six Basic Core Human Needs. Weather it be positive behavior or negative behavior we are trying to meet these six needs. What are they you ask? Well here they are;
All human behaviour is trying to meet our Six Basic Core Human Needs. Weather it be positive behavior or negative behavior we are trying to meet these six needs. What are they you ask? Well here they are;
- Certainty
- Variety
- Significance
- Connection
- Growth
- Contribution
Once you understand the six basic core human needs and you recognise how you are you are meeting these need, you can change you behaviour easily. Most people meet the first four basic human needs Certainty, Variety Significance and connection as these can be meet in a positive or negative way.
The best example of meet the four needs in a negative way is an example Tony Robbins used at an event I attended. He said, "Why is crime in humanity today? It is because you can satisfy four of the basis human need at the one time. If I held a gun to your head i would have, Certainty - I am in control of this situation right now, Variety - we have a situation here were anything could happen, Significance - I am the most important person in your life right now and connection - We have rapport right now you will do anything I ask you to do. Can you see how these basic human needs can be satisfied in a very negative way?
The question is how do we know it we are meet our six basic human needs in a positive way. When we are meeting the needs of contribution and growth can we truly say that we are meeting our six basic core human needs in a positive way. When trying to meet your six basic human need in a positive way ask yourself the question, am I bringing growth and contribution to the table with this behaviour? If the answer is yes you are meeting your needs in a positive way. If the answer is no, what do you need to change in your behavior to meet your needs in a positive way?
Have a fantastic Day
Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director
AK Coaching & Development
www.createthechange.com.au
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Balance postives into Negatives
Have you every wondered why some people get over negatives events quicker than other's. I always have. The same event can happen to two different people and one person just bounces back while the other person seems to suffer for long periods of time. It can be a relationship break up, a lose of some sort or unable to achieve a goal etc. Do you what to know the secret into bouncing back from set backs or negative events?
The people that seem to just get on with life have the following belief
"Failure is only feedback"
When you have a perceived failure instead of focusing on the event, treat it a learning opportunity. In every negative event there are a number of positive learning that can change your life and drive you forward. Remember once an event has occurred you can not change it you life is effected by the meaning you give it. If you focus on the learning of the event this will ensure that the past does not equal the future and you will not repeat the mistakes of the past, how good would that be?
Just look back at some of the negatives events in your life and have a look at the learning from them now. You will be surprise at what you can learn life lessons that can only be learned from failure. Have you heard sport people make the comment, "we learned more from that lose than all our previous wins." Life is the same, every time you have a negative event in your life or a failure rejoice as life is providing you with a valuable lesson.
Have a fantastic Day
Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director
Ak Coaching & Development - Create the Change
http://www.createthechange.com.au/
The people that seem to just get on with life have the following belief
"Failure is only feedback"
When you have a perceived failure instead of focusing on the event, treat it a learning opportunity. In every negative event there are a number of positive learning that can change your life and drive you forward. Remember once an event has occurred you can not change it you life is effected by the meaning you give it. If you focus on the learning of the event this will ensure that the past does not equal the future and you will not repeat the mistakes of the past, how good would that be?
Just look back at some of the negatives events in your life and have a look at the learning from them now. You will be surprise at what you can learn life lessons that can only be learned from failure. Have you heard sport people make the comment, "we learned more from that lose than all our previous wins." Life is the same, every time you have a negative event in your life or a failure rejoice as life is providing you with a valuable lesson.
Have a fantastic Day
Alex Kalafatis
Managing Director
Ak Coaching & Development - Create the Change
http://www.createthechange.com.au/
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